They're called Bogans: this is their story.

So I was reading The Sydney Morning Herald on the 18th October and stumbled upon an article titled How to spot a bogan which, after reading, I posted to my FB without much thought. Within no time at all I received a fair bit of feedback. Some friends found it hilarious. They said it was brilliant and made them laugh. Others thought it was rubbish - one friend even suggested I could do a much better job and urged me to make my own version.

So I have. And, before you ask why I would have the faintest idea about what makes a bogan a bogan, remember I lived in Bathurst. For three years no less. The home of the Bathurst 1000 and it's best friend, the rat's tail.

This is my list, feel free to comment/ add your thoughts:

1. Bogans either don't understand or don't appreciate good grammar and verb tenses. Examples include: "I seen 'em", "I been there" or, even better, a combination of multiple tenses in one sentence; "I been walking down the street and he come up and he said."
2. Bogans love utes. Now this one is a bit obvious, perhaps, but the signature of a bogan lies in what's ON the ute. Common ute accessories include mud-flaps, massive f**k-off aerials, bull-bars and seat covers. Sheepskin is always nice. Bogans also insist on having personalised ute stickers fixed to their ute cabin windows. That way, when four red Holden utes drive by in convoy, you know that the first one belongs to Gazza, the second belongs to Bazza, the third belongs to Dazza, and the fourth to Shazza. It's logical.
3. Ratties. What's not to love about a stray clump of really long, dirty hair down the back of a guy who doesn't shower unless it's raining? Yummm.
4. The southern-cross tattoo. Or an Australian flag if the bogan is feeling really adventurous. Come on - it's patriotic.
5. An acquired taste in alcohol. It's like a status symbol. If you're a bogan, you won't be seen dead drinking anything but VB, XXXX and Tooheys New. Once you're suitably maggot, you've gotta move onto the hard stuff. Jim Beam or Bundy Rum, and it's better if it's on tap.
6. Bogans love B and S balls. (That's bachelor and spinsters balls) for those who don't know. They consist of all-inclusive alcohol and food, where everyone drinks all night, finds a swag with the opposite sex (well not necessarily) and mimics the bull in the paddock nearby.
7. Again, probably quite obvious, but it's a crucial part of the image of a bogan. Bogans wear stubbie shorts (usually navy blue). They wear a wife-beater singlet - either navy or white- and top it off with steel-capped Blundstone boots and a flanno (that's a flannelette shirt if you didn't know).
8. Aussie pub rock is always a favourite with bogans. Personally I'm a massive fan too, but classic bogan tunes include: Big N' Rich, anything Jimmy Barnes or Johnnie Farnham, Acca Dacca... you get the picture.
9. The Bathurst 1000. This is also known as Bogan Mecca. V8 Supercars are attractive, but the opportunity for thousands of blokes to gather on a mountain (more like a medium-sized hill) in blue or maroon (depending on whether you're a Ford of a Holden supporter) with a case per day of booze, a tent-city or two, and hundreds of caravans full of dagwood dogs, deep-fried donuts, meat pies and hot chips is heaven. Mmmmm... deep fried food.
10. Quite often, the source of a bogan's news starts with Channel Ten and finishes with A Current Affair or Today Tonight. SBS World News? They've never even heard of it. And following on from that, Pauline Hanson's One Nation and other xenophobic political groups can often find their niche with the bogans of Australia.

Just quietly, I love that Australia has its bogans. It gives the country character. Have I missed any instrinsically bogan traits/ characteristics? Feel free to add them below.

Image sourced from: http://www.smh.com.au/news/drought/you-beaut-ute-brings-hope-and-singlets-galore-to-struggling-town/2007/09/28/1190486569840.html